It's Sunday morning and I know I can't see my life any more balanced than what it was when I woke up today. Things have been good at work lately, and they have been good on my personal front too. I also finally managed not to postpone the appointment with my doc and saw him yesterday. So, as I sat down to enjoy my morning tea I felt my head was lighter than yesterday, lighter without the tensions or stress from so many yesterdays. It felt real good, that feeling, and after a very long time. I started to think about how I managed to get here, the things I did right and how did I do them right.
For me, life has always been about learning from experiences. I can't think of a time that I did something with a good deal of thought and planning. Many, many a time I've jumped first and blind-fold, trusting that the ones I'm jumping for truly understand me and will save me from getting hurt. But I ended up getting hurt on several occasions. There were times when I was wrong in trusting those people, and then there were times when it was purely my mistake that I jumped without knowing that there was no one there, and in fact that it was me who had made them walk away, made them lose their trust in me. Yet, I never stopped jumping for them. I, for some reason, learn things the hard way- after I injure myself, after I burn my fingers. But I never regret about this. I am an emotional person and I feel this allows me to be free from judging people until they, in deed, prove themselves worthy or unworthy of my trust , and that happens only after giving the other person the right to explain themselves and the right to try again, so that I never have to take the guilt trip.
My life(so far) has been just as wonderful as it has been painful. When I look back at it, and go as far as my consciousness allows me to, I see each day I lived as a collection of unforgettable memories- fond and lovely, scary and regretful, sweet and funny, sour and real bad; with everyone of them teaching me something new. And I've realized the fundamental theme of my life to be this- I had good times and then I had better times :-). Good times were the lighter, fond, lovely, sweet and beautiful ones. The better times were the ones that have been really tough on me, the ones that helped me get stronger and helped me become what I am today.
I feel grateful for this new morning, for the real beauty of life is its balancing act- taking me far far away from everything and everyone I know, detaching itself from me. I feel that every new Today gives me yet another chance to right my wrongs of Yesterday, it gives me yet another chance to do something about the issues that concern me, yet another chance to show the people I care about that I in deed do.
For me, life has always been about learning from experiences. I can't think of a time that I did something with a good deal of thought and planning. Many, many a time I've jumped first and blind-fold, trusting that the ones I'm jumping for truly understand me and will save me from getting hurt. But I ended up getting hurt on several occasions. There were times when I was wrong in trusting those people, and then there were times when it was purely my mistake that I jumped without knowing that there was no one there, and in fact that it was me who had made them walk away, made them lose their trust in me. Yet, I never stopped jumping for them. I, for some reason, learn things the hard way- after I injure myself, after I burn my fingers. But I never regret about this. I am an emotional person and I feel this allows me to be free from judging people until they, in deed, prove themselves worthy or unworthy of my trust , and that happens only after giving the other person the right to explain themselves and the right to try again, so that I never have to take the guilt trip.
My life(so far) has been just as wonderful as it has been painful. When I look back at it, and go as far as my consciousness allows me to, I see each day I lived as a collection of unforgettable memories- fond and lovely, scary and regretful, sweet and funny, sour and real bad; with everyone of them teaching me something new. And I've realized the fundamental theme of my life to be this- I had good times and then I had better times :-). Good times were the lighter, fond, lovely, sweet and beautiful ones. The better times were the ones that have been really tough on me, the ones that helped me get stronger and helped me become what I am today.
I feel grateful for this new morning, for the real beauty of life is its balancing act- taking me far far away from everything and everyone I know, detaching itself from me. I feel that every new Today gives me yet another chance to right my wrongs of Yesterday, it gives me yet another chance to do something about the issues that concern me, yet another chance to show the people I care about that I in deed do.
