OMFG! I found the answer!!

If you have read my previous posts, you'll find a few of them to be around my search for the meaning and the reason why I'm here and the restlessness created by those questions crippling me. I tried a lot of things including Zen (I just cannot like Osho after I read his 'preachings', seriously, please don't ask me) and few other things(I am highly severely painfully hopelessly critical about these things and raise a bazillion and one arguments and question their core fundamentals and I don't buy an answer easily)....and then I came across 'logotherapy'. Its derived out of 'logos' meaning reason and 'therapy' meaning cure. It essentially means, cure by reasoning and has some highly powerful, effective and remarkably simple techniques to answer these questions. I highly recommend this book by Viktor E. Frankl, to know what I'm talking about. That book, along with the ones on Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman are very powerful tools and I owe a lot to these two folks.

Anyway, I finally got something which was convincing enough for me and answered all my questions and then suddenly, it came onto me- a disbelief that my struggle to find out the reason for me being here is finally over?!! -- "OMG! How is that possible? No, it can't be!" was what I kept hearing from within me. Something kept telling me it cannot be the answer, although irrationally, but slowly I realized I was in fact trying to reason myself out, like coming to a compromise with my other half, and even trying to shut down my physiological circuitry. For a moment, that resistance felt as if I've turned into some sort of adjective thats closely related to a masochist and a sympathizer! That feeling shook me up. I can be anything, but not a self-sympathizer. period. Those people don't deserve to live. They are emotional black-mailers. I'm not. I'm lazy and at times irresponsible(and even at times humorous in a sadistic way), but it ends there. I swear to you.

After a long time, I felt I was in control of my own self, in a true, pure, unadulterated way. I felt powerful, knowing(although discovering would probably be a better word to use here) the answer. I can see a huge spike of energy and positivity in me- the level of spike that would happen if BBC posted some exotic pics of the top 10 most beautiful women on this planet ;-D .....I think I'll be able to do a lot more now, you know...realize my full potential and blah...

I think it would be a wrong thing to reveal the answer that I found as I know I'm not half of half of what Viktor E. Frankl was, and I don't want to give incomplete/wrong/misleading information. Go find your own answer in this book :-)