Random Thoughts? ...hmm may be 'after'-thoughts

what if i'm not supposed to be who I am. But if I am who I am, then what am I doing here? How long would I be alive? And if I'm dying too early, do I need to plan so much? And if I'm dying very late, why do I have to worry right now when I have a lot of life to live? But if I have to plan, what is it that I have to plan for? Is it for my happiness? or is it for someone else's? What is the guarantee that I will be happy in the future for what I am doing now? I dont know !

If I have to be happy, is it required that I DO something? I can simply be happy, why this fuss? unless I'm trying to live upto someone's expectations...which means that I'm not living for myself!! and if I'm not living for myself, then why live at all !! Have I gone crazy....may be I'm upset about something, but I dont know what I'm upset about.. :-(

What I do know now is that this is MY LIFE. I hold the key to it. No one else can access it to ruin it unless I let them in.....So does that mean that I'm the reason for me being upset ?! If I'm the reason for all this, why am I doing this to myself ?! I dont know! There are so many things in life that I wanted to do, so many things that I did not want to do, and so many things that I am actually doing.....